SEVEN SIMPLE RULES OF LIFE IN HIDING:
"One, never trust a cop in a raincoat.
Two, beware of enthusiasm and of love, both are temporary and quick to sway.
Three, if asked if you care about the world's problems, look deep into the eyes of he who asks, he will never ask you again.
Four, never give your real name.
Five, if ever asked to look at yourself, never look.
Six, never do anything the person standing in front of you cannot understand.
And finally seven, never create anything, it will be misinterpreted, it will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life."
~ Arthur Rimbaud
[I'm Not There is a 2007 biographical film inspired by the life of musician Bob Dylan.]
So, to be blunt...I'm not sure why I started this blog, but when you're sleeping outside you come up with all sorts of things to do to kill time. While hoping they some how magikly make you some money. Really it had a lot to do with a women, but how often does any man give anything back to the world without it at least silently being blamed/dedicated in part to women. I've been sleeping at my high-school friend [Adam]'s apartment. Him and his roommate Jon have lived here for over 3 years that I know of. I only knew he lived here because this is where we met him after his mother's funeral. Ironical this happens to be the very occasion I first met Ms. F.
It all comes down to how you look at it, but I'm awfully close to point where I will have spent more time couch surfing and sleeping outdoors then I've spent In my own bed. I have to say...at 31 it all bears down on you with a much more weighty urgency.
Some strange stir of intensity from deep deep down has started to awaken within. I'm not sure if I hate it or love it. I always feels like I'm losing my mind. ...again? ...but really, how many times can that happen to one mind. Everything is starting to seem very inter-connected.
Waves! I just know it has a lot to do with waves.
...& temporalness, and the non-locality of all time and space.
Oh!
...and hysinberg's uncertainty principles as well as whatever the currant version of M-theory dictates and thier potential cohesion with a grand-unifying theory of a holographic universe. I would LOVE to spend my time doing these calculations. I truly believe this could account for the leaking of gravitational forces from our "4-D" universe, while also explaining duality within the electromagnetic-gravitational force relationship.
"One, never trust a cop in a raincoat.
Two, beware of enthusiasm and of love, both are temporary and quick to sway.
Three, if asked if you care about the world's problems, look deep into the eyes of he who asks, he will never ask you again.
Four, never give your real name.
Five, if ever asked to look at yourself, never look.
Six, never do anything the person standing in front of you cannot understand.
And finally seven, never create anything, it will be misinterpreted, it will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life."
~ Arthur Rimbaud
[I'm Not There is a 2007 biographical film inspired by the life of musician Bob Dylan.]
So, to be blunt...I'm not sure why I started this blog, but when you're sleeping outside you come up with all sorts of things to do to kill time. While hoping they some how magikly make you some money. Really it had a lot to do with a women, but how often does any man give anything back to the world without it at least silently being blamed/dedicated in part to women. I've been sleeping at my high-school friend [Adam]'s apartment. Him and his roommate Jon have lived here for over 3 years that I know of. I only knew he lived here because this is where we met him after his mother's funeral. Ironical this happens to be the very occasion I first met Ms. F.
It all comes down to how you look at it, but I'm awfully close to point where I will have spent more time couch surfing and sleeping outdoors then I've spent In my own bed. I have to say...at 31 it all bears down on you with a much more weighty urgency.
Some strange stir of intensity from deep deep down has started to awaken within. I'm not sure if I hate it or love it. I always feels like I'm losing my mind. ...again? ...but really, how many times can that happen to one mind. Everything is starting to seem very inter-connected.
Waves! I just know it has a lot to do with waves.
...& temporalness, and the non-locality of all time and space.
Oh!
...and hysinberg's uncertainty principles as well as whatever the currant version of M-theory dictates and thier potential cohesion with a grand-unifying theory of a holographic universe. I would LOVE to spend my time doing these calculations. I truly believe this could account for the leaking of gravitational forces from our "4-D" universe, while also explaining duality within the electromagnetic-gravitational force relationship.
Yeah, that pic is crazy. Though, I guess, so is my life.
Yah know, things really wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for stupid people & rain.
...but today is a bitch.
...& yesterday wasn't all that easy either.
It started bad & just got worse.
1st off, the cunt at the Library in Lincolnwood [the closest Library I can get on line because I owe the CPLs like $60] was just obnoxious for no good reason when I asked if I could use one of the hr long sit-down computers. They give out guest passes to non-residents who don't have a CPL card, & I haven't asked for this since last around this time last year. The hag was like "you can just use the stand up computers like you have been". Yet these computers are set up to not use flash drives & have no sound cards. I just wanted to sit cause my back hurt, & listen to music while trolling through craigslist. Meanwhile, there are a bunch of computers just sitting there that no one is using.
WTF?
Then, at around 2ish, I walk across the street to sit down on the steps to the back entrance of a Mortgage Lender to eat lunch, & no sooner then I finish, some dill-weed, self-righteous fuck, who was probably younger then me, comes over all cock-sure saying "Hey, can I help you w/ something" I just look him square in the eye with a dead stare & say "No." Though, right after saying it I thought to myself I should have asked what he was offering. I hate it when people say things that are the complete opposite of what they mean. I just knew it would be lost on him, & that in truth he didn't give a shit about helping me. He goes on about how I should clean up after myself. I just apathetically agreed. [mind you I've been stopping there pretty regularly to chill for the past year, and never left a real mess] Then, as he's walking away, he says I shouldn't be smoking so close to the entrance, & then when he's far enough away that he feels safe he says "So, you goanna have to get out there, buddy. Ok?" I just nodded without giving him a backward-glance.
So, I left a bunch of garbage.
I almost made a bigger mess, but thought better just because it would have been more work. After this I bussed to a park to workout, the showered in their park-house. It's a service the city provides for the homeless, but it only open certain days & hrs. Which, should be in the morning, but of course isn't till after 3pm. People are stupid. I need to shower early in the day, before I go to job interview or something like that, and it's not like there not open. I just don't get it.
So, then I realized I lost my pack of cigarette butts, and spent awhile looking around for it. Though, to no avail. But! I did happen open a really small blunt roach. Which did get me a little stoned, or least that's what I told myself, and as much as I just wanted to sit enjoy by buzz & the weather, I had to run back to the Library see if a friend of mine [a guy I met dumpster-diving] came through. I had given him some cloths to wash for me. He's a good guy, but notoriously unreliable, and sure enough he never showed.
Now, since I was here [Library] I figured I check my email again to see if any of the craigslist gigs I had sent msgs to had gotten back to me. Sure enough, this one chick who need guys for a focus-group had responded, but here Email said she had tried to call. Alas, I had typed the wrong phone #. Yet, the plan was to go call her, and almost as if on cue, my phone starts beeping cause the battery was dieing. Now, as much as that sucks, I would have just charged it up, but when I thought about it, I hadn't seen my charger in days, nor could I recall the last place I had. Since then I've searched all my shit only to confirm it's gone. So, my only course of action [since the Library closed] was to go to the mall in the area and use one of the internet demo computer at a T-mobile store, get the girls #, & called her on one of their display phones.
I got her voice mail.
After that I was just down-trodden by it all. So, I walked over to the Dominick's dumpster I told you about, sat down, & wrought about all this.
I was goanna go back to the mall 1st thing today, but it's been raining & the holes is my utterly fucked shoes let my socks get soaked in a matter of minutes...
...and there isn't much worse then spending a day in wet shoes.
Well, I just keep telling myself it can only get better from here.
...but I said that yesterday too.
Yah know, things really wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for stupid people & rain.
...but today is a bitch.
...& yesterday wasn't all that easy either.
It started bad & just got worse.
1st off, the cunt at the Library in Lincolnwood [the closest Library I can get on line because I owe the CPLs like $60] was just obnoxious for no good reason when I asked if I could use one of the hr long sit-down computers. They give out guest passes to non-residents who don't have a CPL card, & I haven't asked for this since last around this time last year. The hag was like "you can just use the stand up computers like you have been". Yet these computers are set up to not use flash drives & have no sound cards. I just wanted to sit cause my back hurt, & listen to music while trolling through craigslist. Meanwhile, there are a bunch of computers just sitting there that no one is using.
WTF?
Then, at around 2ish, I walk across the street to sit down on the steps to the back entrance of a Mortgage Lender to eat lunch, & no sooner then I finish, some dill-weed, self-righteous fuck, who was probably younger then me, comes over all cock-sure saying "Hey, can I help you w/ something" I just look him square in the eye with a dead stare & say "No." Though, right after saying it I thought to myself I should have asked what he was offering. I hate it when people say things that are the complete opposite of what they mean. I just knew it would be lost on him, & that in truth he didn't give a shit about helping me. He goes on about how I should clean up after myself. I just apathetically agreed. [mind you I've been stopping there pretty regularly to chill for the past year, and never left a real mess] Then, as he's walking away, he says I shouldn't be smoking so close to the entrance, & then when he's far enough away that he feels safe he says "So, you goanna have to get out there, buddy. Ok?" I just nodded without giving him a backward-glance.
So, I left a bunch of garbage.
I almost made a bigger mess, but thought better just because it would have been more work. After this I bussed to a park to workout, the showered in their park-house. It's a service the city provides for the homeless, but it only open certain days & hrs. Which, should be in the morning, but of course isn't till after 3pm. People are stupid. I need to shower early in the day, before I go to job interview or something like that, and it's not like there not open. I just don't get it.
So, then I realized I lost my pack of cigarette butts, and spent awhile looking around for it. Though, to no avail. But! I did happen open a really small blunt roach. Which did get me a little stoned, or least that's what I told myself, and as much as I just wanted to sit enjoy by buzz & the weather, I had to run back to the Library see if a friend of mine [a guy I met dumpster-diving] came through. I had given him some cloths to wash for me. He's a good guy, but notoriously unreliable, and sure enough he never showed.
Now, since I was here [Library] I figured I check my email again to see if any of the craigslist gigs I had sent msgs to had gotten back to me. Sure enough, this one chick who need guys for a focus-group had responded, but here Email said she had tried to call. Alas, I had typed the wrong phone #. Yet, the plan was to go call her, and almost as if on cue, my phone starts beeping cause the battery was dieing. Now, as much as that sucks, I would have just charged it up, but when I thought about it, I hadn't seen my charger in days, nor could I recall the last place I had. Since then I've searched all my shit only to confirm it's gone. So, my only course of action [since the Library closed] was to go to the mall in the area and use one of the internet demo computer at a T-mobile store, get the girls #, & called her on one of their display phones.
I got her voice mail.
After that I was just down-trodden by it all. So, I walked over to the Dominick's dumpster I told you about, sat down, & wrought about all this.
I was goanna go back to the mall 1st thing today, but it's been raining & the holes is my utterly fucked shoes let my socks get soaked in a matter of minutes...
...and there isn't much worse then spending a day in wet shoes.
Well, I just keep telling myself it can only get better from here.
...but I said that yesterday too.